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WHO’S IN CHARGE?

Baby Boomers, just so you know we are the old folks now, but there is good news, these days we live longer.

Matriarch: The female head of the family.

A friend called early one morning after the death of her mother, her father had passed years earlier, her concerned was who will lead their family now that their Matriarch had passed.  She suggested her brother.  When asked, “what do I think,” I told her that her brother may be inappropriate, of course, she wanted to know why.  I said I understood the Matriarch of a family to be an older woman preferably the eldest female sibling who is well-respected among her peers and siblings.

After I gave my opinion of who I thought the matriarch should be (the firstborn female), it set off a bunch of words not worth repeating; I wish I had kept my opinions to myself, although asked.  She stated the eldest female in her family was not a leader and that no one would take her seriously…  I felt her pain, but family is family; that is until you get enough.

I should have done my homework before giving my opinion on such a sensitive and personal question concerning who’s next in line for the throne?  I should have said, That’s an interesting question, or let me check that out, how about I’ll get back with you on that one, anything other than structuring the Family Tree.

As it turned out her brother could very well become the Patriarch (the same definition as matriarch except a patriarch is a male).  I forgot all about there is such a thing as a patriarch, with my selfish matriarchal ways.  Back in the day, the general rule was the eldest female held the crown, but nowadays some families make that choice without regard to age, or sex, which I think is a good thing.

As I was thinking about other situations I had faced when death was the reason, I thought, since I am the eldest in my immediate family, and both my parents have gone to glory, is this really my position, am I really the head of the family?  I have a brother too.  The thing is no one said I was the Matriarch, I just assumed the role without any input from the rest.

Although my approach to Matriarch-dom was to just step in and assume the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, this may not be what works for another family, a family like my friend, who started this conversation.

Thank God; because it seems as if the role I play in the family’s pecking order has been well received.  Who knows, maybe I should have called a family meeting after we had lost our Matriarch, something any of us could have done, but since that didn’t happen and it’s 8 years later, I think it’s best to leave it alone.

The good news is that conversation caused me to adjust my thinking to the point that I began to realize as we age, a lot of the old ways should be moved into the history books in order to refresh our minds and not to become outdated.

Just like As The World Turns, we too have to adjust while realizing sometimes getting older may not lessen our responsibilities as some may have hoped, for there is always something amidst when to learn and do is involved.   

After we parted ways, I couldn’t wait to search out the real role of Matriarchs and Patriarchs in order to find out Who’s in Charge, for real.  I found the whole situation complicated.  By now we all should know The Real Boss is Jesus Christ and he has it all in control, not Some People in High Places. ( posted 05/24/12)

I found when it comes to us humans, The control center of our life is our attitude, and that should be based on the teaching found in the Bible?

There are qualifications involved if you want to be the leader of the pack, ask yourself if you can control your work ethics, your actions, especially your attitude while asking it of others, but more importantly, Can you trust yourself? (posted 01/27/12) to do the right thing for the good of all?   If you can’t no one else should trust you either.  Afterall the job description is all about taking charge of matters that count involving family.

After some soul-shaking I concluded, if we chosen can rule with the knowledge of, there is risk involved in most choices especially concerning others, we cannot please everybody, and that there are forces that are beyond our control, if we can get that far we may stand a chance.  BUT, If you are not able to embrace change, you’re not fit to be the Matriarch or Patriarch of the family.  It’s time to vote.

The practical way to handle disruptive family members or anyone for that matter is to know that Nothing gives a person so much advantage over another as to remain cool and unruffled under all circumstances.  Thomas Jefferson

I believe to be a successful matriarch or patriarch of any generation, you must be flexible and willing to share all available information without bias, if not your legacy may become the essence of tyranny.  Withholding information is a tool of Dictators?  The main thing is if you chose to accept the responsibility, it’s a tough one because No matter how much you may love your family, you will still want things your way, and that ain’t gonna happen.

It’s Something To Think About!

To God Be The Glory!

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