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Friend, Foe or an Acquaintance. All I’m asking is what kind of friend are you?
Are you the kind of friend that keep all your joy to yourself, but eager to share your pain? Are you the kind of friend that never gives. Are you a Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing? A taker, just to keep something from someone else? Are you the type of friend that think everyone owes you something? Are you an enemy, disguised as a friend?
If so, you are not a very good friend or one I would call a friend. An acquaintance is more like it.
Don’t mistake acquaintances for friends; for they have yet to prove themselves by putting their words into action, and standing by your side. Most know truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget.
One of the best things we can do for us is to make a friend out of ourselves; being without friends can be lonely and frustrating. So making friends with yourself is one sure way to provide a resource for self-care and inner peace.
Recently a friend was complaining about my not answering or returning their phone calls. Often they will call back to back hoping I will eventually pick up. Sometimes I wonder if people think I walk around the house all day carrying my phone holstered to my hip as if it was a gun.
I tried to explain that repeatedly calling me was a waste of time, and the reason for my not answering their calls is all in their head. I can list an array of why’s; I don’t want too, in the bathroom, phone off, most times I don’t know where it is and don’t care, and you can forget about me answering if I’ m writing.
My friend went on to tell me how they know I know when they are calling because I can see the name on my Caller ID. True that, but I may not see it for days, and most times when they do call, it is seldom that they leave a message. To me, no message means whoever called had nothing to say, so I just go on as usual.
As my friend pressed, I soon found myself searching for the real reasons why we were having this conversation.
The more I thought about the complaints, the more I wondered What Kind of Friend are they? This conversation opened a can of worms. I’d like to think that I ‘m the type of friend that not only share my pain, I share mostly my joy.
Where is this person when the good times are rocking and rolling? The only thing shared with me are the problems; It seems as if the only reason we are friends is so they can batter me with their personal demons, and that can be draining. Everybody receives blessings from somewhere, sometimes. Their still breathing.
As I continued my evaluation of why I don’t answer, at times, it hit me like a ton of bricks. When I do, it’s drama; 3D drama, full of twists and turns that may never be resolved. Perhaps worthy of a good book in years to come, but for now it’s just too much. The gossip, do this or do that, coupled with can I have or borrow. All the time it’s something.
I now know those phone calls are meant to be a distraction to keep me from what I should be doing, all to the Glory of God, with purpose, whether my friend realizes it or not. Constantly remarking, “You always call me at the wrong time, I told you I work from such-to-such,” but that goes UN-heard.
It’s a Diversion, a trick used by Satan and his cohorts to turn our attention away from Productive Purpose… Sometimes we just have to move on to a Higher Calling…
Beware of untested friends; Think Outside of the Box! Pay attention to all of your surroundings, especially if it seems as if you are the only friend in the friendship. In that case, your friend may be your foe, and they know when your guard is down because you trust them.
There’s a lot to the saying, Keep your friends close, but your enmity’s closer. Certainty It’s Something to Think About! And some people are only in your life for a season, anyway.
I like to think I live a peaceful life outside of drama. My home is my sanctuary, except for the occasional family mishap, and the ongoing trials of being alive; other than that I have no real issues. So most times when my peace is disturbed, it has nothing to do with my doings or my life. But problems coming from the same source over and over can be challenging.
I have a listening ear, but somethings will have to change, if not I am not listening anymore. I am not anyone’s exclusive sounding board, as a matter of fact, I could be a better friend if we shared some of the same values; like not talking through everything I have to say; cutting me off at every turn just to convey your dark side.
When this friend, I now call an acquaintance, finished telling me about all the qualities I didn’t possess. I had to explain my friendship has to be earned, not used, and that it is an important ingredient in the recipe called life, not a one-sided love affair only when something is needed of me.
I had to express, with all the flaws that were pointed out and made me an undesirable friend, the fact that; True friendships are not one-sided, and Love is understanding, coupled with the ability of friends to close their eyes and ears our human flaws. I asked if anyone ever mention in order to have a friend we must be a friend?
I have spent a lifetime searching for peace, and I finally found it in Jesus Christ, a comforting friend. The type of friend we all should be to one another. Causing me to take some of the blame, and wanting to be a better friend.
What Kind Of Friend Are You? It’s Something To think About!
Thank you, Lord for all you do, and What A Friend you gave us in Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior… Amen!
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Norvie L. Cherry 