It’s not this hair, I am not this skin, I am the soul that lives within. Rumi
As a Cancer Survivor and Living Witness for Jesus Christ, if I had it my way I would compose a manual concerning; What not to say when someone tells you they have Cancer.
When I have diagnosed with 3rd stage Breast Cancer the very words that were supposed to be helpful and without a doubt heartfelt, were the one that hurt me the most. Insensitive comments like; “You know Betty Ann had the same thing, too bad she only lived 6 months.” Who wants to hear that?
If we think about the words we use to comfort another, we will soon discover Satan has his own way of creating destructive tactics in our everyday lives and we are unaware of his ways.
Evil is often responsible for muting our voices from the truth, clogging our ears, blinding our eyes, and hardening our hearts. It seemed as if every time I told someone I had cancer, they wanted to know if I had my “business in order.” I did not tell, or even suggest to anyone I was dying, but apparently they had me dead well before my time.
If that wasn’t bad enough, still today, when I mention I am a Cancer Survivor and I am cancer free, the next thing out of whosoever mouth is; “So you are in remission?” What part of I’m cancer free didn’t they understand? Is this a cruel joke? Some just close their hearts, shut the door and it was nice knowing you…Then there were those who knew more about my problems and how to handle them then I did. All I wanted was a listening ear, not a mouth full of what I need to do.
Telling me “I am so sorry this had to happen to you.” Well, so I am I, but most people suffering from life altering events are not seeking a pity party. Yes, I was scared but I hung in there anyway, knowing some terrible things could happen. But most of all-knowing some wonderful things could happen too.
I wanted to Live, and in order to do that, I had to conquer all types of fears. I had to find a way to keep my head in the game, safe and secured from anything that was negative; including what my family members, closest friends, and associates had to say. I knew, and it’s still true today in any and all situations; To Kill, The Head is to Kill the Body.
I knew those people and their negative words were meant to encourage me. I also knew Satan was behind those words and they were unaware of that fact. The thing is: As the patient, I knew my battle was between good and evil, leaving me as the prize for the victor.
I could not afford to let Satan or any of his unsuspecting cohorts put thoughts in my head that were detrimental to my mental as well as physical health. I also knew I had a fighting chance if I kept the faith until God’s Will Be Done. I could live if I waited on the Lord and not try to predict what the future held for me. There was no need to rush the verdict. My job was to make a choice. I choose to believe I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13 KJV
In other words, I listened to my heart where the Spirit of Jesus Christ lives. And I know all things happen according to His Will, not Doctor this or Doctor that’s. I kept the Faith and let the Will of God take the lead until His Will was Done. Because of that, I Survived, although the doctors had no hope for me.
I am really not complaining about what others had to say, I just want you to know some take those words to heart, and that can lead to their demise, in some cases. A weak person cannot hear their name in the same sentence as cancer without putting themselves in the grave.
I ‘m just telling you my side of the story since I was the one with cancer. Believe me, when I tell you I am not trying to punish myself with what I say or alienate me. I am telling you what I know for my Salvation, and to fulfill the purpose given to me.
I believe God’s purpose for saving my life is to give all another point of view, and this time it’s coming straight from the survivor’s mouth. “Never accept the advice from someone who has never experienced the same or similar situation.” Even the doctor that told me I had cancer never had cancer; they only knew what I told them about my personal cancer, and they worked with me from there. (Medicines, etc., get the book))
I have been commissioned in my heart to tell you all I know about all I know. Sometimes I tell hard truths, it’s up to you to accept what I have to say or not. If you understand the lesson, then use the information to better yourself, or another; One thing, though, I promise you nothing I have to say out of my mouth will kill any positive thoughts you may have about your own unique situation.
Since I have been in that awful place myself, may I suggest you glean what is for you from it? Cancer is survivable, I am living proof of that, as are so much more. You can survive until you say you can’t, so don’t ever go there, some falls are hard to get up from, if ever.
Just one more thing I have to get off my chest and that’s; “No! You do not know what is best for me unless you are Doctor Whoever, or Jesus Christ.” So as a survivor, I will continue to do what I think is best for me as long as I am capable. I appreciate the advice and thank you very much, but I will be doing things my way, and that don’t make me hard-headed either.
Whatever you do decide to do about any situation you may find yourself facing, remember John 15:5 gives sound advice; “You can do nothing without me.” So a good place to start may be on your knees? It’s Something to Think About!
Thank you, Lord, for giving us Jesus Christ to come and do an intervention for us in times of need. In Jesus name, we pray. Amen!
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