I survived every trial and every error I ever made because of mercy and grace; favor, the favor that only Christ can give.  Not something I did or conjured up or any excuse I may try to even convince myself of.

I was under the impression if I throw out a bone or two, now and then, I was doing the Will of God; while telling all who would listen what a good job I did, with that good thing, that was put on my good heart.  When in truth, all I wanted was some misdirected attention and the feeling of being more than I really am.

I needed to learn how to live my life instead of trying to run the lives of others, and at times, bringing them to near ruin with my know everything attitude.  Once I discovered some perks in life were the direct results, stemming from “Minding My P’s and Q’s.”  I was sent on a journey of self renewal.  I went back to my roots; A bible believing, bible teaching church.

It was time to get back to Jesus Christ.  When I was a child, I knew he had plans for me.  How many times have we said  “I know God has something special for me?”  (Purpose)

Before I formed you in the belly I knew thee; and before thou came forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.   Jeremiah 1:5

Jeremiah 1:5, has always been one of my favorite bible verses because of a covenant made by the Lord, to me, when I was a little girl.  I was told the only reason I was placed on this earth was to take care of my mother.  And I did that with all I had, all my life, and this caused my mother and me to be great friends, life long.

I told her every chance I got that I loved her, and every chance I got I would tell her, ” I know God has big plans for me.”  Always sure it was the next best greatest thing to ever happen.  I have so much faith in Jesus that when I was diagnosed with 3rd stage Breast Cancer, I knew I wouldn’t die; my mother was alive, how could I take care of her, dead?

With my mother living, and that childhood message firmly rooted in my heart, saved my life; and gave me purpose, so I could complete the task laid out before me as a child.  So when I was in that delicate state; (Cancer)  I knew the God I serve would keep his word and he would throw me a lifeline, even when the Doctor said, “I normally don’t accept a patient in your condition.”

I don’t know what condition she was talking about, because I wasn’t in any condition God couldn’t handle.  I knew I would live through that season, because as soon as it started, I was given peace, peace in my mind and in my heart.  But Life still goes on and we are a part of it, “like it or not.”

There are some things that can literally drive some sensitive saints, insane; for, sure, some of my friends had me dead upon hearing the news.  Well, sorry, but, I am not dead and because I had cancer, I was not in the mood to play mindless, and unhealthy head games; this disease called Cancer and many others are deadly, but not always lethal.  I knew “to kill the head is to kill the body.”

With the promises of Jesus unfolding right in front of my eyes, and I could hear the storm howling in the distance as it passed me by.  For me it was an almost overwhelming new learning process that was in control of me, while I was suffering from severe brain damage, and at the same time, being consumed with an over the top desire to tell the world what Christ did for me, and how I lived  “Through It All.”

But when it pleases God, who separated me from my mother’s womb, and called me by his grace.   Galatians 1:15

How Great has thou mercies been towards me?  I was spared from the grave to be a “Living Witness for Christ.  Saved for that purpose.  To tell all of His Goodness, and how to get you some.

“Jesus is Love,”  and he won’t let those who believe and love him down, or retract any promises.  Our love for Jesus must be given freely and with all the praise we can muster, then some more.  Without Christ, the odds of us getting through anything, is almost impossible.

When I started to obey the laws, I found myself in a “Happy Place.”  Understanding God’s Commandments that are taught in church, and the Bible, was the best starting places, for me.  I don’t see why they won’t work for the rest.  (Exodus 20 1:17)

We must fill our hearts with love for one another, (actors and all other types included) and help others without expectations.  We all have heard more times than we want to admit, “if you don’t have it to give, don’t loan it, it’s the fastest way to lose friends.”

It may be something to that because I sure had a hard time trying to collect.  You know what I am talking about; I know you know when someone is trying to avoid you, at all cost.

FYI: There are two entities out there and neither one of them is interested in avoiding you.  Consider yourself the prize.  We all know Jesus Christ wants to wrap us in his arms, and of course the other; the Devil; who we all know wants to make a deal.

I asked Christ to change my heart from a loaning heart to a giving heart; it’s what I needed… “What is for you is for you.”  But, sometimes we have so little for ourselves, we are shy about sharing; pray about that too.  Most of all, Praise God, not your fellow-man.  As a matter of fact, let’s praise him just to praise him, and let’s pray about everything.

Eventually, I stopped playing “Tic for Tat,”  and I keep my mind on “We reap what we sow.”   So far, staying focus is keeping me out of big mouth trouble, too.

For if ye love them which love you, what thank have ye? For sinners also love those that love them. And if ye do good to them which do good to you, what thank have ye? For sinners also do even the same. And if you lend to them of whom ye hope to receive, what thank have ye? For sinners also lend to sinners, to receive as much again.   Luke 6: 32-34

But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest; for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil.”   Luke 6: 35

“Now we know that God hears not sinners: but if any man can be a worshiper of God, and do his will, him he hears.”   John 9:31

That’s the kind of God, Jesus Christ is.  The God of second chances and as much as we need.  Obey and we may obtain.

Lord, keep our minds free of unhealthy clutter so we can gain knowledge, granting us the ability to get  “Through It All”  while gaining some of our earthly perks and accomplish learning how to listen  “When You Are Talking.”   In Jesus name we pray.   Amen

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