We all suffer from some kind of real life problems that are problems because we make them problems, even when “the revolution is over and we have reached a resolution.” I believe some of us keep the pot boiling just to be messy, and some say, “That’s the way I was treated.” That very statement can create a lifelong negative policy instead of a solution; A route we never thought to take.
Controlling the little things in our lives is not that small of a task, it just takes a big person to minimize the situation.
I have a dear friend that I have been fighting with constantly for over 25 years, and it’s always about, you didn’t let me finish. We both may suffer from some of the same flaws, including a lack respect for the others opinion and or abilities.
Neither one of us know when to “shut up,” or how to listen when the other is speaking.
Most of the time we missed what we agreed on because we were still over-talking each other, and when we agreed to disagree it passed us by like a thief in the night. So the screaming and neck-popping goes on long after the war is over. Will we ever learn, or will we be led down the same path of ” why listen, my way is the right way,” causing more unrest.
Still we talk about change, but neither one of us seems to put forth an effort. I guess it’s not important enough to reach the top of our list of priories. Well, that was a good excuse, but raising our blood pressure up a few notches is not worth it. Something has to give.
Who knows, later in life I may read this post and realize what all the commotion was really about; nothing. And hopefully I’ll still have a friend, and a sense of humor. Especially when realizing how unprepared I may have been or for lack of a better word; stupid.
This time I will start with me, but I bet as soon as I suggest a solution I will be interrupted and never get it said. Already I have a losing attitude. I am claiming, even before I start the conversation, that I will forget what I was originally going to say because, my friend, with me not having put in more than a few words will say, I know what you are going to say. Eight words that are powerful enough to start a shouting match.
I don’t know everything and I am sure of that, still you will not hear me volunteer to speak about my flaws; plus I didn’t say my friends were off-limit. I know I am guilty of “knowing the impossible to know,” like most, so when it comes down to it, we all have our own set of rules that vary. It really depends on how we feel, that day. Don’t it?
Well, there is always a first time. Maybe I can start the ball to rolling by not responding in such a loud manner; putting my best foot forward by practicing patience, when told “I know what you’re thinking.” With Christ-like thinking, I know we can win this race against time before it ruins our friendship. So I intend to be the first to find a way to address the problem calmly.
More conversations than we want to admit to has gotten lost in translation. The Devil can so easily keep us spinning out of control using only a few words, and we are not aware of the fact that we have been played like the pieces on a Chess Board. Twenty five years is a long time and a waste of time to allow Satan to pit us against each other; in-fighting over hocus pocus.
Nothing will hold up forever, except the love Christ has for us. This madness was foolishness, causing me to be at the top of my lungs, sounding, looking and acting like a complete knucklehead. How glamorous is that? And to make matters worst, Proverbs 29:11 say,
A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back.
If we keep letting Satan have his way, we may not be able to bounce back. There are some days when all it takes for us to become unhinged is to get out of bed; don’t let that day, be the day, we lose an old friend or anyone because we are “stuck in our old ways.”
What a wonderful feeling it is to accomplish something put on my heart to benefit another, even if it is only to “stop, look and listen,” without interrupting. Especially if I do better without a push, or anyone knowing I was a benefit to some other; Giving all the glory to God.
We claim, “we are who we are, and we rule the world,” so sometimes we won’t do anything for anyone without creating a ruckus with our selfish selves. Asking the question, “Lord, what have they done for me lately?” This seems to be a blessing blocker. How soon we forget “we reap what we sow, and do unto others.” Or?
A fool’s lips walk into a fight, and his mouth invites a beating. Proverbs 18:16 (ESV)
When we hit any type of lottery, friendships are sometimes the first to go. Our morals may be next. A k-zillion excuses are formed in an attempt to not share the wealth. “Where were they when I needed them?” When negative thoughts are the first things on our mind, failure is almost guaranteed in real life possibilities?
Nothing good comes out of bad, except a lesson learned the hard way, and believing in what we think we know, with the exception of us knowing everything, is not going to cut the mustard.
Maybe the friends we thought we could depend on in a situation instead of depending on Christ, was doing the best they could in our situation. Sometimes, the only thing a friend can do is stand at the altar of prayer and pray for you? Everyone has problems, even you are incapable of everything, all the time. Using the expression, “give me a break.”
Being realistic about others and Christ will enable us to see the bigger picture, especially the one with Satan in it. This way we can gain control of the judgmental and negative thought process. There is more to life than what we think and its far trickier. Maybe some don’t want to make promises they can’t keep. There are plenty of circumstances, and we with our small know it all attitudes, really think we know them all. Seldom taking into consideration the positive ones.
Don’t act surprised, look at yourself and you might discover you’re negative most of the time also. After all it is “The way of the World,” and that will be the death of us all; literalty.
It’s up to us to stand up and speak out, or not. Communication comes with a release valve, whatever you want to say is in your head, you have to pour it out; I am not a mind-reader although I know a few, let them tell it.
So let our words flow to be understood, instead of telling all what they should know or what they should have said, and done. It’s best you do you. Most of us are in our own zone anyway, and not thinking like true Christians should, of one accord.
“It takes courage to stand up and speak out, and it takes more than courage to shut up, sit down and listen.”
Some think friends are supposed to be at our beck and call, and if they are not we have nothing good to say. Having a church family who cares is half the battle, and friends who are one with Christ is a plus, but a friend like Jesus, what’s there to say?
Make a stand, be realistic, and let your friends be friends, not your personal; fill in the blank, or not? I bet if we trust Christ, we can get desired results and keep that old friend though-out life.
Thank you Lord for giving us humor in trying times, coupled with the ability to laugh at ourselves. In Jesus name we pray. Amen
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Norvie L. Cherry 